Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Never Say Never

Ahhhhhh....a good nights sleep in my bed!! I did have to relearn the Rudder pup that my side of the bed was still my side and his few weeks of sleeping with Mom carried no weight in the sleeping arrangement. I may be gimpy but I'm still the alpha male, sounds good anyway.

I guess we rolled out of bed around 8am and decided we were going to go out for breakfast. that's right, no more sweats or shorts, it was time for jeans and sneakers. I did the sponge bath routine while all the while looking at my shower......in time corner shower stall...in good time. I crutched back to the room and got on a pair of jeans, a belt and my outter banks T-shirt that has "The beatings will continue until the morale improves" with pirate logos. My "tools" were downstairs so Mary helped me get squared away so I didn't look like a dork. I did the stairs, we locked up the dogs and we were off to Angels for breakfast. No handicap parking permit yet so I had a short way to go across the parking lot. I knew it would be worth the work. Mary ordered two eggs and toast, I had creamed chipped beef with home fries with cheese and onions and we split a scrapple. I had a very small portion of the creamed chip beef, wiped out those home fries and enjoyed the scrapple. I was feeling like a human again, out in public, dressed in real clothes and functioning.

Mary bought breakfast and we made our way back out to the SUV. With all the therapy my leg is starting to get some range of motion back and it gets easier for me to get in and out. Mary packed away the walker and we headed for home. We both skipped lunch and will have dinner when I finish this post. Mary's Mom made us lasagna and let me tell you, she can cook!

A few days ago I was feeling pretty low, the body was hurting, I was sick and tired of being in the house and I was just dang tired of the walker, my crutches the wheel chair and anything else that I had to use to get around. I told Mary that I am never going through this again no matter what, I would sit my butt in a wheel chair and motor around before I went through a day of this crap again. My Bride just listened, gave me a hug and told me we will get through this together, the hard part was over.

When I looked in the mirror last night I didn't like the guy I saw, besides the usual scary face, I didn't like the guy who was on the fence giving in because it hurt and it wasn't easy to do the things I needed to do, I wanted to just play Sally and quit. What was I thinking? I wasn't raised that way, I'm hard headed, prideful and to stop me ya' may as well kill me. I sometimes suffer from that tunnel vision, I get the site picture locked in and it's all I see. Well, getting better and shedding the tools that help me motor around is my goal. Time to Buckle up butter cup, screw the hat down tight and take care of business.


ddf said...

What a great post! Got a little 'fire in the belly', that's a good sign. Its OK to get angry, just use that anger to get better. Sounds to me like YOU are making good progress. BTW, just got back from Wings. Had to canc due to weather. It was going to be my first Actual in...well in a long time. Weather was only 200' above mins, and a two hour flight might mean we would sleep in a hotel at our alternate. Rescheduled for Friday. Objective: approaches!

Gary said...


Nothing like some actual but 200' above minimums is a bit low and getting stuck away from home would really suck! Keep at it, sounds like you're havfing a blast.

I'm just starting to get caught up reading all the blogs on my favorites list. I may start flying approaches on the MS flight sim here at home.

I hope some day soon we can split some costs and I can finally get a ride in the cirrus.....the real deal!

Rob said...

Poor Rudder......