Thursday, March 26, 2020

The Great TP Hunt of 2020

Wednesday 3/25

The bride and I went out to do our regular order late this morning, maybe almost noon. We keep a list on the fridge and when the page is full we go shop (usually three weeks). Away we went, and managed to pick up just about everything on the regular order list. Before we left the house I took stock of our TP situation, which is typically 2 six packs. So I noticed today we were into the last pack and there were four rolls left. So TP went on the list. 

At the first market, Food Lion, we completed our order, however they had no TP. The second stop was at a Wawa, sort of like a 7/11, but much better. We love their milk and that's the only brand we will buy. Milk purchased. Wawa didn't have any TP nor do I think they even carry it on a regular basis. We drove across the parking lot to a CVS and they didn't have any TP either.  

We headed across the state line into Fenwick Delaware and hit the first Wallgreens, Food Lion, and Harris Teeter we found.  Three strikes, we're out, no TP. Apparently the towns of Ocean City MD, and Fenwick DE are out of TP. Oh, the horror.

What is wrong with people? Is it that hard to just fill your typical orders and not go bat crap crazy. I guess tomorrow will be another  TP mission, and most likely we'll buy one six pack. 

If I see someone hoarding I swear I am going to throw in a pepto-bismal bottle for every package of TP they have. I want to be a good neighbor and help with their obvious diarrhea/mental problems. 

Thursday 3/26

Attempt number two, pun intended. 

Mary and I once again went to the grocery store across from our community at 7:20 this morning. Food Lion employees said yesterday that they had a truck coming in, so there should be plenty of TP on the shelf this morning. It was gone, every last package, and they had just opened at 7am. Are you kidding me?!

So the hunt resumed again today, with the plan to retrace the five stops from yesterday. Thankfully, the Acme on Ocean Highway, maybe seven or eight miles from home, had the much coveted TP. Yes, we hit pay dirt on the second stop! Let's go home.

We are now happily back home with two packages secured. I'm thinking we are good to go, even though we felt shame for buying that second pack. My bride said, pull in the garage, I don't want to do the TP walk of shame for buying more then one pack. 

Two days driving around - 1/4 tank of gas 

Filled grocery order - Completed 
Drove around making five stops in two states for TP - Mission fail 
Drove around making two stops for TP - Mission Success


MarkFromMn said...

I can sympathize. I benefited a fair bit from dumb ass luck. My wife was coming for a visit so I scored a large pack right before she got here - forgetting I had an unopened Costco megapack in a closet. But she left home with only a 4 pack before the world lost their mind so we were looking to have to bootleg TP in to Texas when we took her home. So I tried a few times and got just lain lucky at the Roanoke Target about 15 minutes after they opened.

Still no luck on hand sanitizer or wipes. For when we're out at gas station I do have some vinyl gloves and I've got a stash of shop towels and a spray bottle of weak bleach solution to take with when we're out.

Our biggest challenge is figuring out when to get my wife back to Texas - these days that means ~18 1/2 hours of driving although we can get alway with one night at family and no hotels. It's not immediately urgent for her to go back - and Southwest Virginia is definitely less of a shitshow/dumpster fire than Greater Austin - but for several reasons - she will have to get back sometime in the next month or so.

Gary said...

Tell her to stay and send Tango over with us. You two can visit him when you want, just fly in.

Good job on the TP score, we finally found some at the Acme about eight miles away. Our friend Pam picked us up a bulk pack at BJ's so we are really good to go.

Chris said...

“We really are good to go.”

Pun intended, Gary?

Gary said...

After reading it again, yes, pun intended. That works for me. :)